May 2013
stillwatersofconsciousness:
radish is a really accurate name for a vegetable because they’re pretty cool but they’re not that cool
softgrunge420:
I feel like yahoo is our new stepdad and we don’t like him yet
halfbaked-alchemist:
HI
I am the potoo
I spend most of my time sitting on the edges of tree branches,
pretending to be a stick or dead leaf
it’s not as easy as it looks
I sing virtually exclusively around the period of the full moon
because, according to legend,
I am a mournful spirit in love with the spirit of the moon
1 tag
hipstertheory:
hipstertheory:
MY MOM FUCKING USED MY RAZOR TO SHAVE HER LEGS
I AM SO BEYOND DISGUSTED RIGHT NOW
internetexplorers:
we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first
michaxl:
dilclo:
michaxl:
why am i not a disney princess
because ur a 15 year old boy
insecure-happiness:
don’t ever assume someone likes you because 10/10 times they don’t
starksexual:
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
1 tag
fadedhues:
qchord:
so before i saw les mis i thought javert was pronounced “haverrr”
and enjolras was “en-yol-rrrras”
i guess i was thinking of the mexican version
you know, where juan valjuan steals a quesadilla
#LOS MISERABLOS!
zeldalise:
oh my god I just realized something okay
so if yahoo is buying tumblr for about $1 billion and tumblr is estimated to have 50 billion posts then it means that every post is worth two cents
I am actually giving you my two cents in every post
chanandlerb0ng:
“hey sorry i was busy” kidding i was watching my fave tv show and u interrupted rude
echobo:
lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake
the ridiculous thing is that i’m pretty smart but at the same time i manage to be the dumbest person alive
“You will be stupid. You will worry your parents. You will question your own...”
– Ira Glass (via wordsthat-speak)
1 tag
littlestbug:
poutingly:
angryfuckingvegan:
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Angryfuckingvegan comes the conclusion that cows are not real and milk does not actually exist
i’m imagining him alone in his...
221b-mine-please:
pirenstoletheimpala:
mycroft-queenofcake:
iamjayse:
thenerdfighterkid:
slydig:
tsarbucks:
slydig:
dont be mean
be median or mode
damn math fandom bloggers
shut up we have a good range of jokes
this is our domain
guys we’re forgetting the point of this post and going off on a tangent
Are you all done cos I’ve had enough of this by now
Damn math...
unsuccessfulmetalbenders:
narutoe:
i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
get out
why do famous people think that they can only date other famous people like youre limiting your chance to find your soulmate
for example: me
jerkofanassbutt:
andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:
ohyousillypotato:
what i’m looking for in a man:
will lend me his hoodies
good sense of humor
is a cutie patootie
will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood
good taste in music
Dean Winchester. You’re looking for Dean Winchester
theangelgabrieldidmyhair:
Yahoo people taking an actual look at the site they just bought
joycemannerism:
ok thats cool but in america you can get 100 mcnuggets for $25
davidisbeyonce:
13 going on 30 (pounds of chocolate)
selfdoubtandsyphilis:
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
mishas-ass:
how I feel everyday of my existence
zackisontumblr:
if you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying hey wanna see what i made
“I’m a grenade, I just want to stay way from people and read books and think and...”
– Hazel Grace, in The Faults in Our Stars (via ineverwillsink)
rneerkat:
darrynek:
rneerkat:
if somebody invented a shirt with a giant pocket in the front they would be millionaires because who wouldnt want to feel like a kangaroo
oh
myynt:
i hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that shit
not feelin this “school” thing tomorrow
sunshineface0014:
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
yuppadupp:
thewholockgames:
districteverthorne:
what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too
calm down satan
Time...
vagisodium:
vagisodium:
i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out
this post has 99,000 notes can you guess how many people have made out with me since i made it the answer is 0
